The pain you feel today, will be the strength you feel tomorrow

Apr3

Dear broken person

I know you’re hurting. I know you’re wondering why it had to be you, after everything you’ve done and this is how life has decided to reward you.

You have so many questions your asking yourself , like why me? , what did I do to deserve this pain?, how did I allow myself to get here?

Though you search for the answers you can’t seem to find them. I’m here to encourage you that everything, not some things, I mean everything is going to work out. Out of your pain, you will sing a new song. With every tear that you cry, it will make you stronger and wiser than you’ve ever been.

One day you will even be able to thank your pain, for all the pain it has caused. You will understand , that had it not been for the things you went through, you wouldn’t be where you are at the moment.

I know it hurts now but it won’t be forever. Just hold on, the sun will shine again. Turn negative experiences into positive outcomes. What was meant for your harm, will work out for your good.

I’m praying for you and I know your wounds will be healed.

Signed with love

A woman who thought she had been broken, but has now been mended and is now stronger than before. No mistakes, just lessons!!
Christine H.I.L.L

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A letter to my future daughter

Mar16

Dear mini me, my precious daughter.

I know we haven’t met, but I already imagine my life with you in it. I know you’re coming some day, but I feel I need to share and teach you some important things before you get here.

First and foremost, I love you and I will always love you, no matter what. Every mother believes their kids are beautiful, but you my child , you are a treasure. You are a blessing, one that must always be cherished and nourished. Just like your brother you are the light of the world. I will always thank God for giving me the privilege of being your mother.

Before God gave you to me , and placed you in my womb, he already knew you and had planned every detail of your life.I want you to understand that you are uniquely designed in the image of God. God created you the way you are for a reason, never make apologies for who you are.

I want you to know that you are priceless, Jesus already paid the price for you on Calvary.The media and society these days try’s to define beauty by the size of your body, the colour of your skin, how much skin you expose, and whatever other things society believes represents beauty. But true beauty is beyond skin deep.A pure and kind heart will always outshine outward appearances. I promise to raise you and not let television, society and school raise you.

Always humble yourself and never think you’re better than anyone. Life is not a competition, because everyone, including you is running their own race.
You have to work hard, but never feel you have to compete for things. What is meant for you will always be for you. Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding , but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct you.

My baby, I want you to enjoy your youth. Do not be in a rush to grow up. Do not be in a hurry to live as an adult. There will be plenty of time to do all the ‘grown’ things you might want to experience. There is a time for everything under the sun, a time to be born and be a child and a time to grow up and be an adult. Do everything according to its timing. So many adults wish they could return back to their youths and enjoy being young again , but that’s something that can never happen again. I know , maybe sometimes you might feel like I’m smothering you , but all I want to do is protect you and help you make better choices than I did when I was your age. I know I must let you make your own mistakes and decisions , but I don’t want you to make the same choices I did , especially if they caused me more harm than good and by making you aware of my mistakes you can possibly learn and do better than me. It’s every parents wish that their children do better than them and I’m no different.

Yes , you will make mistakes, we all do. But you must never allow your past mistakes to stop you from pressing forward. What lies ahead is definitely greater than what lies behind you. Never allow yourself to be stuck in the past, just live and learn.

You have a destiny to full fill, a special purpose and calling that is upon your life. You’re not just anyone, you are a special being put on earth to do extraordinary things. Do not allow anyone , including me to stop you from being all that God intended you to be. You have everything within you , that you will ever need ,In order to be the woman that God wants you to be. Never doubt the power of you and your own abilities.

In my current generation , we are surrounded by women and girls who have lost respect for themselves and feel it is totally ok for a woman to expose her body and wear provocative clothing in order to attract attention from the opposite sex. I want to emphasise that your body is a temple of God .Before anyone can respect you, whether it’s a man or woman, you as an individual must respect yourself. People will treat you based on what you present to them. If you dress half-naked because everyone around you is and you attract the wrong attention, you only have yourself to blame for that negative attention received. There are so many ways to gain attention and exposing your body ,should never be an option. You are a lady, so dress like a lady.

I’m not concerned about how some women within society allow their daughters to dress or how them as mothers dress. My concern and responsibility is to make sure that I raise a daughter who will respect herself, her body and lead by example. We have an obligation as christian women to honour the Lord Jesus and our brothers in the Lord by our dress and by our behaviour. By the clothing you choose to wear you can cause a brother to stumble into sin. Save all of who you are for your husband, someone deserving of you.

I know you will be a beautiful woman ,but I want you to understand that not every man who will approach you will be for you, equally not all relationships will last. Some people you should never go past hello.
You as a woman , should always remember that you are a gift from God to man. This does not mean that you should disrespect men or think your superior to men , but rather I want you to understand your role as a woman to your husband.( I will explain this in-depth someday) Treat everyone as you would want to be treated. Cherish your good man when he finds you. Good men do exist, however you must also be aware of men who have wrong intentions towards women. Do not be deceived by their charm.

If you pray and seek the face of The Lord before you make any decisions you will save yourself from unnecessary pain. Trust your instincts. I speak from experience, when I tell you to trust your instincts. Your instincts are the inner voice that speaks to you if you pay attention.
Most people get into relationships and straight from the beginning they can see and sense that the person they are dating is not for them but they still hold on in hope for change. Do not be one of them. Never be in a rush to get into a relationship, the right person will locate you at the appointed time. If you can, I urge you save your innocence for marriage.Love is a beautiful thing when you meet the right person. I pray that God blesses you with a wonderful husband who will treat you like a queen that you are.
It’s better to be single and happy, than being in a relationship that is not fulfilling or allowing you to grow. Never forget that life is growth, and we can all grow if only we are willing. Your life partner will play a great contributory in how you develop as an individual, so choose carefully and wisely.

I wish you the very best of life , my child; and I pray God permits me life to watch you grow and develop into the woman he created you to be. I am excited about your life.

I will keep working on my future and prepare a life that you will be comfortable and happy living in. I hope the choices I make with my life pay off and give you the life you deserve.

Signed with love.

Your future mother Christine.

A letter to my future Son

Mar1

Dear son,

I know your not yet to be born but I want to teach you a few things before you get here.

First of all I want you to understand that you are a gift to this world. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. You may look like your mummy or daddy but you are created in the likeness of God. You have his full stamp on you, and because you have his stamp imprinted on you , before your life even began I want you to understand that you have a plan, a calling, a mission whatever you choose to call it to full fill on earth. So that’s the first thing I want you to understand that you have a special calling for this world.

Everything created has a purpose and you my boy, you are a purposed child.

I want you to understand that life may be challenging at times,and you may doubt yourself, your abilities, but never forget who’s you are. Yes you are mummy’s boy but most importantly your Gods son.

The world and the people in it may attempt to define you, but don’t let their words hold you down. You have all you need and will ever need in order to be successful in life. But life is about making choices, even when you choose not make a choice you’ve still made a choice.
I want you to understand the power and ability that your choices will make on your life and your generation to come. With each choice you make their will be an equal reaction so choose carefully.

Life is a learning experience.You will make mistakes, you won’t be the first and neither will you be the last. The only thing I ask of you is that you learn from your mistakes. Challenges will also come, but they won’t come to break you, but rather they will come to teach you a lesson , build your character, mould you and strengthen you.

I know you will be a very handsome boy(with a mummy like me you can’t go wrong) but I want to make you aware of women.
First of all ; women are Gods gift to men, you are not Gods gift to them. Cherish your good woman when you find her. If you treat her like a queen she will have no trouble devoting her life to a king. There are good women out their but I want you to also be aware of those dangerous women that will attempt to lead you to destruction. Do not be deceived by their beauty. Beauty will fade with age but a good heart and a good woman, will always stay the same. One of The best gifts you will ever be able to give your children is a good mother.

Always live your life by prayer, God will lead you and you will not be led by lust. The bible says that he that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. At Gods appointed time you will find your wife. You will find your bone of your bones( Genesis 2vs 23) and the two of you shall become one. Do not settle. I repeat do not settle. Only settle for what you believe is the best for your life. Do not be led by your manhood but be spirit led at all times. Who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, will be one of the biggest decisions you will ever make for your life. She will either make you or break you.
Be the example you would like other men to treat your female relatives including your own mother.

Never fear what life will do to you, instead life should fear what you can do to it when you decide to act on your plans and dreams.

I will love you until my last breath, and I will do all that I can (by the grace of God) to be the best mother and role model. I won’t promise you a perfect mother because no one on earth is but What I will promise is that , I will do all that I can to be the best that God intended me to be for you.

I wish you the best as you navigate through life

I’m gonna keep working on my future and prepare a life that you will be comfortable and happy living in. I hope the choices I make with my life pay off and give you the life you deserve.

Signed with love.

Your future mother Christine.

Being a woman in Nepal

Feb26

As always greetings to you all, hope all is well

It’s been two weeks since I returned from Nepal and I must admit I miss village life. I miss everything from host family, to friends , nature and just the way life appeared to be simple out there. Nevertheless life must go on.

So as much as I enjoyed Nepal there is a few things and cultures norms I found really difficult and challenging to accept.

We all know that gender inequality exists around the world but many of you may not know about the situation for women in Nepal.

Here’s what I learnt whilst living in Nepal:

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Women are under pressure to give birth to a son. As the majority of Nepalese are devout Hindus it is believed that if you don’t have a son, you will go to hell. Women would repeatedly get pregnant in a hope of producing a male child and at times when it is discovered that a woman is pregnant with a girl, she would be encouraged into having an abortion. In a culture where women move away once married, a son is seen as an insurance policy; a provider of wealth and security for his family. Therefore some families believe that it is more important to invest in the education of a son who will be able to provide for his family long-term than a girl who would be married off to another family. The pressure to produce a son can sometimes come from the husband, his family or even the girls own family.

Women who are unable to have children face even more stigma from the community and in the home.

In some cases boys even get better education compared to that of girls.

Due to the fact that Nepal is a patriarchal society which is dominated by men, it is equally important to understand that men/ boys are also under pressure. Boys are under pressure to live up to their parents expectations and desires. At times the desires of the parents and the sons may differ, but the sons have no option but to obey and respect their parents wishes. In addition to this it must be difficult for men being the sole decision makers in every issue about family matters.

I’m sure it is challenging for both genders to live up to society and family expectations. In my opinion, I believe both male and female should be educated on the importance of equality. Both the daughter and the son should be brought up in an environment were they can learn about respecting each other regardless of gender and gain a mutual understanding. Neither of them should feel inferior or superior. The labour pain is always the same regardless of whether it’s a boy or a girl, so surely they should both be treated the same.

Women are considered impure and dirty during menstruation time.

One of the main things I found challenging and difficult during my stay was the treatment I received whilst on my menstruation. I absolutely hated having to sit separately from every one else. I couldn’t touch anyone or touch water that was going to be used by other people. I was considered dirty and impure. The result of this action meant that anyone who entered the house and saw me sitting separately from others knew I was on my period. For someone who loves privacy, the idea of everyone knowing when I was on my period felt like an invasion of my privacy. Though I complain I understand that the treatment I received could have been far more worse had I not have been a volunteer /visitor. I was fortunate to also stay in a house hold that is not so strict when it comes to such practices.

The practice formally known as mahinawari hunu is a traditional Nepalese practice which most women / households practice. Women are not allowed to enter temples, use public water sources, touch livestock or touch others. When they serve food, the person who gives it to them will not even touch the dish and at night, they are not allowed to sleep in their own beds.

Some women are against this practice but they will never take the stand and break the tradition, even though they don’t like the practice. They have accepted the practice and see it as part of their culture and life style.

The first time I was introduced to this culture practice, I will admit I found it rather annoying and challenging but like everyone else you accept it and get used to it. I guess it was easier for me to get used to it, knowing that it won’t be forever and I will only have to practice it whilst out in Nepal. However for some women, this practice causes all sorts of problems for those who practice it. Not only does it bring discomfort and isolation to the women practicing it , it sometimes can cost the women their health and life. For the young girls it disrupts their education.

I understand it’s a culture practice and I have to respect it, whether I agree with it or not. However I can’t help but feel sorry for the women who don’t wish to practice it but have no choice but to abide with culture norms. It is difficult to Change and challenge mindsets that have been set for centuries , however I do believe that women’s voices are necessary in order for change to occur. People need to be awakened and active.

C-HILL

Thank you Nepal

Feb13

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Good day beautiful people.

As always hope your all well and in good spirits.

So my time in Nepal has come to an end, and as I reflect on everything that has happened on this journey, my heart is truly over joyed and filled with gratitude. So much has taken place in the past few months and it definitely has helped to build my character. I am beyond thankful for this amazing opportunity and I am excited as I watch my life unfold.

It’s truly been an amazing opportunity, one that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I have been blessed with the most amazing family, community and friends and it’s a sad time for me saying good-bye to them. I know I might never see them again in my life, but I’m so thankful that I got to meet them. Each person I have had an encounter with has taught me something new that I will carry through life.

I have learnt some Nepalese, but most importantly I have learnt the language of love. The language of love is a language that all human beings are capable of expressing if we are only willing. People don’t need to speak the same language as you in order for you to love them. Love doesn’t always have to be spoken words but we are all capable of expressing love through our actions.People may not have been able to speak in English and equally I may not be fluent in nepalese but our actions speak more than words and through our actions we are able to express what we are trying to say; and I can confidently say I have been loved and I have equally returned the love.

Bandre ( my village) has truly brought out the best in and out of me and I know that it is God that bought me there. I have done everything I wanted to do in my community and I can confidently say I have no regrets. I have touched lives and equally people have touched my life and I feel my life will never be the same again(in a great way).

I now have a different outlook on life and feel so blessed to have been part of this great journey. I’m excited to see where God takes me next, but one thing is certain my work in developing myself and people globally has just began.

Thank you VSO ICS!

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Love always

Christine H.I.L.L

LOOK PASSED THE MOUNTAIN,TO SEE WHAT LIES AHEAD.

Dec31

Good day/night(depending on your timezone)
Hope everyone is well and in good spirits. I’m still in Nepal, having an amazing time. My apologies for not blogging it has been a busy and hectic six weeks, but I am now settled in my village and I shall blog about it real soon.

Since living in Nepal I have had to learn how to walk up long hills. It hasn’t always been easy but it’s been a great help to my fitness level. Like everything else around me, I decided to use the hills/ mountains as a motivational for my writing.

I hope as you read this blog, your able to look past the mountains that’s standing before you as you prepare to enter a new year. Happy reading!!!

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There’s a mountain before you
One you feel you can never climb
You stare and gaze at it and wonder how and when you will get to the top
The distance frightens you

Grab hold of yourself,take a deep breath and make a step
I know the higher the mountain, the harder it is to climb
You feel like your running out of breath as you struggle to walk up the mountain
Your legs ache as you struggle to keep the pace
You exhale and wonder how far you will have to walk before you reach your destination
So many trees and obstacles before you
Don’t give up! You’ve already travelled a very long way to just give up now.
H
Life is not a competition of who will get there first, you have to walk at your own pace but don’t be lazy because time may not be on your side

With each step you take always remember your one step closer.
You may fall down on your way up
Don’t stay down
Pick yourself up and keep moving
Whether someone wants to help you or not
You are responsible for how high you want to go

Your only limitation is the one which you set up in your own mind.
Will you be guided by faith. Or will you allow fear to overtake you?
Your urge to continue has to be stronger than the desire to quit.

It won’t be easy but it will be worth it when you reach the top.

As always stay encouraged, the best is yet to come. Enter the new year with boldness and determination.

Love always

C.H.I.L.L

Namaste!!

Nov27

Namaste!!

Greetings from Nepal. The team and I arrived safely in Nepal after a long flight.

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We are currently in Kathmandu set to move off to pokhara to finish off our training before heading to Baglung village.

We done some sight-seeing in Kathmandu. We went to the dream centre and my Goodness what a beautiful place. It's so relaxing and you can definitely get your thoughts together. I absolutely loved the beautiful scenery and just enjoyed each moment.
We then went to the monkey temple. I have never seen a monkey or even been up close and personal with one. A monkey even managed to chase me for my drink and I ended up dropping it due to the fear of the monkey jumping on me.

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We then had to climb 365 steep stairs to get to the top of the temple. I will admit I was out of breath but thanks to the support of my team I made it.(guess it was a free gym session lol). I am learning to press on no matter how challenging it may be. It would have been so easy for me to give up, and stay at the bottom and wait for everyone else but I'm happy I didn't give up. As I reflect, I can't help but think about what the next few weeks/months are going to be like. I know this journey won't be easy but with perseverance I know I will make it to the end. It won't be easy but it surely will be worth it.

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There's still so much to see and explore about Nepal and I will do my best to keep you updated. I am thankful and grateful for this wonderful opportunity and I intend on making the most of it.

Letter to self

Nov20

Dear self .
This is a letter to notify you, that you are beautiful, precious and special.
I know at times you may not feel like the above, but im here to tell you, there is nothing ordinary or simple about you. How can you be basic, when the one who created you is incomparable. Created in his image, with all the qualities and portions you need to make it through life. I know your not perfect but please tell me who is?

You are indeed stronger than you think you are. Your test and trials will mould you into the woman you ought to be. Have courage, boldness and never give up. It’s just a matter of time before you get to the finishing line.

The race is hard and it’s not for the faint hearted, but trust in The Lord at all times and he will see you through. Do not stress about relationships that end/ended. People who were supposed to stay will always stay no matter the circumstance. You have to love them when they come and love them when they go. Learn the lessons these people bring whether positive or negative.

To the things you are waiting for….. God has three answers for you but he will only choose one or maybe all three (depends) ;and that is “YES, NO, I HAVE BETTER IN STORE FOR YOU”. Remember that just because you want it, doesn’t mean it deserves to have you. Be patient, but don’t procrastinate, be hopeful, but not naive. When it’s right, you will know and you won’t have to force it.

You may not get everything you want today, tomorrow, next year, but life is growth. To the things hoped for yet unseen, have patience and faith and with prayers God will surely bring it to pass. If you can see it in your mind, it won’t be long until you see it in the physical.

There is no room for a pity party for your past mistakes and failures. You won’t be the first nor the last to make mistakes, be betrayed or disappointed, get over it. Do not sit in that paddle of sorrow, get up and show why you are different, why you will always be the best. Most importantly prove to yourself what you are made of. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it.

Just wanted to remind you of the special type of woman you truly are.

The best of your life is facing you, grab it with both hands.

Yours sincerely

Your self Chrisy Diamond

My Comfort Zone

Nov19

 

My Comfort Zone

 

 

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I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busywork where really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone good-bye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.
Reach for your future with a smile;
Success is there for you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nepal, here I come

Nov18

Good day guys, hope all is well.

From the title above I’m sure you’ve worked out what this blog might be about. I’m excited to announce that, I will be heading to Nepal for three months to work with a charity called VSO (voluntary services overseas)

So what is VSO and why am I going to Nepal. Very simply – they are an international aid organisation, though instead of sending cash or clothes to developing countries in need, they send people …. like me! Experienced professionals who work with organisations to share skills and develop their capacity.
My purpose for volunteering is to continue my work of positively affecting and touching lives worldwide. I decided years ago to dedicate my life to positively impact and inspire people by any means necessary. I don’t want to live for the sake of living but I want my life to have meaning. I want the life I live to touch so many lives that even if I was to die today , the world would be a better place because I lived. Not only did I live but I made a difference.

I will be staying in a rural village in Baglung, so I will be experiencing first hand the challenges and difficulties the Nepalese people face on a day to day basis. I believe this new life style will challenge me for the better and I know on my return home to the UK(by the grace of God) I will have a different perspective about life on a whole.

Part of my requirements for the charity was to raise money, to support the work VSO is doing. I must admit the fundraising journey was a challenging one. Nevertheless I raised the funds and I conquered.

Here is a list of things I have learned whilst preparing myself.

1. Your biggest supporter is yourself

Everything you do in your life , you have to be your very own Number one fan. If you choose to wait for people to support you, you might wait for a life time.

2. Strangers are more likely to support you than your friends and family

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You would think that your nearest and dearest would be the main people supporting you and pushing you towards your dreams but that is not always the case. I feel the problem in most cases is familiarity. The people who know you personally are so stuck in the reality of who you are in the present and who you were in the past to even fathom who you can be in the future. Strangers can only see your potential because they have nothing else to go on, thus we find more support in strangers than the people closest to us. Some people have a major issue with seeing people progress, they would rather see you fall than rise above them. Nevertheless we have to choose carefully who to trust and surround ourselves with. Over the years I have learnt that not everyone who smiles with you, is really for you. Only give the necessary information required but never reveal all your plans, because you can never know peoples true motives.

3.Your moments of need reveal your true friends.

4 Everything has a beginning and an end, just do your part.

As stated above I had to raise money to support the work VSO is doing and I spent so much time thinking how I would raise the money. Would people give, would I be able to reach my fundraising target on time. These were some of the questions that went through my mind. As weeks went by I had to stop thinking of the “how’s and when” things would happen. Instead of thinking I started acting and slowly things fell into place. I developed new ideas and skills of fundraising and gradually I reached my target.

I want to encourage those of us with dreams. Though your dreams may look impossible at this present moment , I want you to know and believe that everything is possible.  You may not see the “how’s and when ” things  will happen but the key is to make an attempt to start. Things will fall in places, when we take steps of faith. My faith in God allows me to believe that there is nothing too hard for God and  the impossible can be made possible if only I believe. You have to sell your dreams to yourself first before anyone else will buy them. If you doubt yourself, don’t expect others to believe in you. Which brings me to my next point .

5.You have to believe in you, even when others don’t .

6. Be careful who you seek advise from

As I mentioned above, not everyone will believe in you or your dreams, so choose carefully who you share deepest plans with. It’s not everyone you should seek advise from. Some people will use their fear of in capabilities to stop others from pursuing their dreams. Some are even too afraid to dream. Peoples opinions do matter(Depending on who it is)  but they shouldn’t stop you from accomplishing that your heart desires.

My biggest adviser is the bible and praying, with these two combined I seem to get the answers I need. Only after I read the bible and pray will I then talk to people about my concerns.

My life is a learning process and I am more than open to learning the lessons in each journey and season I embark on. I look forward to seeing what life has in store for me in Nepal. I can’t guarantee to be blogging whilst out there, but I will definitely have something to share on my return.

Love always

Chrisy

 

 

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